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“Student's Prank”
By Laszlo Belarski


“You shouldn’t have done it, ryr3.”
“Not again! We’ve been through this already!”
“It was wrong…”
“Wrong by whose standard? Look, wyw3, it was just some innocent fun! You were dead bored too yesterday, on that shitty planet!”
“But what if Superintendent pyyyp35 had a hidden sensor on our ship?”
“Do you see any? Show me!”
“No, ryr3, I don’t see any. That’s why they’re called hidden.”
“You know they’re just a legend.”
“Oh yeah? How about poor gyg1?”
“That loser? I’m still laughing!”
“He thought he was smart, and he lost two Factors for a silly prank!”
“It wasn’t even that funny…”
“Look, ryr3. Factor Tests are coming soon. Is it too much asking to stop your stupid jokes until then?”
“Whoa! Whoa! Hold it! Where’s the wyw3 I know? May I remind you of your drunken antics on Star(6051)Planet(8)? You almost changed its orbit, with your parties!”
“Well… That was then -- It’s Factor Tests time now.”
“Come on, wyw3! You laughed your head off too, at those hunched hairy creatures! And those filthy beards, even on their females!”
“Yeah, those were laughable…”
“And how about the grunts and growls they used as language? Even old zyz-15 is more articulate than that!”
“I’m not saying it wasn’t a good laugh…”
“Then what? What do you care about the puny third planet of a forgotten Star System?”
“That’s not the point. There’s a limit, ryr3. We can watch them, study them, even laugh at them. But we have no right to interfere with their tech-development.”
“Some development! At that rhythm, they would have discovered how to use tools after their extinction!”
“You tell that to Superintendent pyyyp35. You know he’s keeping an eye on you. This is at least a 2-Factor Downgrade -- if you’re lucky!”
“Hey, you’re in this too! We’re Factor Project partners, remember?”
“But I didn’t-“
“What? I don’t remember seeing you wrestling me to the ground to stop me, when I showed Fire-tech to those brutes…”
“Still can’t believe they were eating raw food…”
“Ah ah! The way the elder’s beard caught fire! I can still see his ugly face when he dived in the H2O!”
“And he never came back out of it!”
“Stone-tech was even better! When I stoneshaped that wheel, the idiots ignored it, and tried to eat the small rock fragments instead!”
“Ah! Then they chased the wheel for hours when you kicked it downhill! The retards thought it was alive!”
“What about Veg-tech? The accelerated plant-growth scared the shit out of them!”
“They looked soo stupid when they planted the seeds by themselves and nothing sprouted!”
“Aaahhh… Well, I guess we got away with it. By now we would have heard from Superintendent pyyyp35 if he’d found out.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right…”
“See? You were worried about nothing, wyw3.”
“Still. No more pranks until Factor Tests?”
“Well… we’ll see about that. For now, let’s drink to pyyyp35’s stupidity! That tank of CH3CH2OH should do...”

***

The caveman looked up at the night sky, almost expecting the shiny ship to materialize from the stars like the day before. Then he checked over his shoulder; the others of his tribe were in the shelter, gathered around the newly-discovered fire. When he was sure nobody had noticed him, he clumsily shuffled along the edge of the shelter towards his hiding place, his posture hunched and uncomfortable.
He crouched near the familiar fissure in the rock, rummaged inside. A smile appeared on his rough features, revealing huge yellow teeth. The caveman was very pleased with himself. He had felt attracted by the thing with many lights from the moment he had seen it hanging from the ship creature’s belt. He was so proud of himself for having managed to steal it unobserved.
He examined the luminous dials on the colourful thing with his rough, strong fingers, unable to refrain a satisfied grunt.

***

Superintendent pyyyp35 looked up from the pile of Factor Projects on his desk, startled by a sudden light coming from the next cubicle in his quarters. Secretly pleased with the unexpected, welcome distraction, he ambled towards the light source. He reached the cubicle threshold and stopped, astonished.
Crouching on his bed was a hideous, primitive-looking hairy creature with a personal teleporting device in his hands.
It took only a few moments for Superintendent pyyyp35 to recognize the device. He had personally assigned it to that useless pupil, ryr3, in case of emergency.

 

 

END

© Copyright Laszlo Belarski 2005

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